that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
