Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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