He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
