he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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