so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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