Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
