Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
