I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
