Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
