You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
