Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
