we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
