I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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