..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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