i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
