you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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