The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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