Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize