That's intense
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize