You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
