thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
