where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
