just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
