Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
