I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize