i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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