I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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