They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
i think my cat just said my name.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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