Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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