If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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