do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
