Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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