After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I FOUND THE LEGS
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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