He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
she was so not down for the gang bang
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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