mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
