Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
