My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
