This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
