he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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