Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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