Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
