i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I AM VODKA MAN
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
