I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
