the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
