Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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