yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Text me some of your sweat
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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