is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
its not stalking. its research.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
