some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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