I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize