you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
