bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
