Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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