id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
