I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
