Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You took a bar mat shot.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
