She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
