why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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