ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Your cock deserves a montage
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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