Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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