It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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