don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
