Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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