I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
