you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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