Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
