everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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