Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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