We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
